Tips on How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

unhappy couple sitting at a tableYou know in your heart and your mind that it is time to have the complicated and emotionally charged discussion with your spouse about separating and starting the divorce process.

Here are some thoughts we like to share with our clients before starting this dialogue with their significant other:

  • Are you 100% sure you want to start this process?
    • If you have any doubts or are unsure, don’t start this progression
    • This is a life-changing conversation, words spoken will change your family dynamics indefinitely
  • Don’t talk about specifics
  • Be compassionate, but sure of yourself
  • Listening more than talking may help diffuse the emotionally charged feelings you both feel
  • Rehearse the conversation before the actual discussion
    • How will your spouse react?
      • Will they be blindsided, share your sentiment, or be angry and try to talk you out of it?
    • Prepare for the “ending conversation”
      • This will be helpful when the conversation seems to go on longer than you wanted
  • Let them know you are looking to come to a mutual agreement that is reasonable for both of you
  • Having this conversation will no doubt cause a significant shift in your family dynamics; let our team of professionals help guide you thru this difficult dialogue.

The Collaborative Divorce Process looks at the whole picture of the impact a divorce will have for all involved, at each step – beginning, middle, end and future of your entire family.

Family Divorce Solutions is a group of well respected, experienced and trained attorneys, mental health professionals, financial professionals, certified public accountants and child specialists who work as a team to reach a complete and satisfactory resolution for everyone involved.

Contact us today to help you learn how to have this life-changing conversation with your spouse.

Dr. James Walton, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, member of Family Divorce Solutions of San Fernando Valley


James E. Walton, Ph.D.



Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or medical advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, mental health/therapist or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.

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