Divorce: it’s easily among the most stressful experiences anyone could face in their lifetime, and that stress generally starts long before the actual divorce process.
Not only would the initial conversation about divorce be stressful, it can also be intimidating. Here are a few tips to consider when informing your partner that you’re ready for divorce.
Does your partner know your feelings?
Most folks report feeling shocked or blindsided when their partner told them they were ready for a divorce. Therefore, it’s helpful to voice your concerns and feelings to your partner before deciding divorce is your best option.
Having an honest and open discussion about one’s emotions might lead to both partners addressing problems in the relationship and maybe even working with a therapist to fix the marriage.
But, if fixing the marriage isn’t possible, it’s still important to talk about your emotions before getting a divorce.
Determine what you need to say
Approaching the subject of divorce isn’t an easy task. Once you determine that you need to move ahead with the divorce, consider:
• At first, avoid talking about specific details, like child custody
• Outline “I” statements explaining the problems
• List your reasons for seeking a divorce
• Describe your feelings about the present relationship
Pick the proper location and time
Step two is determining where and when to have the conversation. It’s good to:
• Pick a time when neither partner is stressed or busy
• Locate a private space without risk of interruption
• Ensure that both partners have time and space to process after the conversation
Every couple is different. Therefore, the location and time that works best for this conversation varies.
Keep a civil tone
It’s important to avoid sounding aggressive or accusatory. Keeping a polite and sensitive demeanor will help avoid adverse or angry reactions.
Individuals should ensure they take both their emotions–and their partner’s–into consideration during this difficult conversation.